The monster grinned it’s grin of grins, its teeth so clean and white,
it dusted off it’s silky skin of scales so gray and bright.
It took deep breaths and smiled so big and practiced chewing up
all the things that it would eat once grown up from a pup.
For it was young—but growing big—and craving more new blood
to suck and fuck and twist around and stomp on in the mud.
The other monster showed its claws, then took them to his lair,
which smelled of freshly polished bones and maidens oh so fair.
This was the biggest monster club, a place so full of screams
and violence of every kind which haunted all our dreams.
A place the little monster could use to get much more food,
though monster habits must be calmed—it mustn’t act so rude.
The king of the big monster crew had nestled in his throne
and eyed the little monster pup and stared as tough as stone.
“Why do you wish to join our pack and be with all the rest?
The biggest players in the game, the best of all the best?”
The little monster showed it's tongue and spewed a stream of puke;
words like vomit poured like wine. It acted like a duke.
“I want to know of your past deeds, of challenges you’ve circled,
of ways you’ve grown and shown your grit and losers you have hurdled.”
The puppy monster answered quick, as quick as it could muster.
It laughed and snarled and made up shit, it's talk all filibuster.
“Your words are good,” the alpha spoke, “though maybe should be quicker.
Initiative is what we crave, not pensive, slow shit-kickers."
The little monster ran his mouth a million miles an hour,
it drooled with greed, its hunger huge. It showed its lust for power.
“It’s time you showed your love of us. It’s time to demonstrate
your knowledge of our pristine crew and all the ways we’re great.”
The pup, it spouted off it's words which sounded as they should:
they gleaned and gloated, noted, quoted, every way they could.
“If you join us, it’s for life. Our ladder you must climb.
Where do you think you see yourself with us in five year’s time?"
The little monster made it known it’s loyalty was true,
but asked of all the perks and ways it's dreams it could pursue.
For though ‘twas desperate for a club, a way to get more meat,
it wanted promises of bounty other clubs could beat.
“I’m afraid we don’t discuss salary until the second interview. Next!